How I overcame the fear of speaking.

So as most of you are aware I have shared some very deep and dark moments in my life that have haunted me for the last 15 years. its prevented me from taking action at times crippled me with pain. It's like carrying a ruck sack full of rocks and the load just gets heavier over the years. No matter how much I fight to keep it in it just follows me around. it wasn't until I spoke to close friends that we identified something had to change. I was missing out on activities. I  missed out on living and building long-lasting friendships.

I'm in no way fixed and still have a long way to go however I'm now just starting a new chapter in  life, Which is extremely invigorating. Being trapped in your head is like a prison in fact I will recommend a book its called The mind made prison by Mateo Tabatabai. its not about self help it's a learning book that clears the mind. At points it will make you laugh. Which we all know is a great antidepressant.

I have been surrounded by many fantastic people who have supported and loved me through my journey. I now want to do the same for others especially when it comes to mental health. I feel confident now to hit back and stop lying to myself I'm ok when clearly I wasn't. this not only takes courage but an inner strength that is more than just lifting weights which I have done. trained like a demon but what I didn't work on was my gut health or my mind. When people ask me how I am the answer is always the same I'm getting there. as I have no idea what the future will look like. After all it would be like time travelling and that is what I have been struggling with. My pure focus now is staying present. but after 15 years of work I have now found my voice. With the podcast I did yesterday with Ryan from revival it's gave me some power back.

I feel I could talk more, write and just keep doing it. but don't mistake this for being fixed as I don't believe anyone ever truly is. However it doesn't mean we can't work on ourselves being the best versions. comparing yourself only leads to pain and hurt. I would suggest to compare you against you. As you are the most important person.


Mental health doesn't have to be mental once simplified.

peace and love
SW XXX