The dangers of searching for what was never missing in order to arrive at the place you have always been...

The truth is I am me I have spent years trying to find the missing pieces to my jigsaw. I have my mind, my eyes, body and can hear and speak. nothing is missing. In the meantime I have been searching for things that are already there. In the physical contents. I am like a book ready to be opened I have a  contents defined by chapters. At any point these pages can be opened and found the problem was never me I just chose to close the book. I believe now its time to open this if it helps one person that's one less person that needs support. A good friend and mentor told me to write on this subject, I believe he realised it was my time to shine.

We can look for a new job, a new car, a new home but the fact doesn't change we are not missing the only thing that is, is our happiness. I have loved, lost and won. However I have spent the last 30 years hiding me, rejected happiness, rejected love and rejected me I suppose you could call this self sabotage.

So I have spent too long look at the wrong things and not enough time on the things that make me happy, walking on grass barefoot, spending time in the rain, reading, writing, singing, laughing. I was too busy being busy creating nothing but sadness and anger. losing people that would matter most in my life. Missing moments and not capturing the right ones and before you know it time escapes us.

Life is deeper than waiting for things to happen it's about grabbing those opportunities and making the most of what you have with no regrets. When was the last time we went back to our childhood memories? Walking in the woods, playing hide and seek, sharing a story at bedtime and just being a younger version of ourselves. We stop working on our selves instead we fill our life with resentment, anger, frustration all negative emotions.

Stop questioning what to do and just do it would be my advice, stop working towards the things you can't take with you. Enjoy the moments that create the best memories that you can reflect upon. Ensure when you look back it fulfils you with joy happiness and you can laugh have a story to tell. "remember when we did this" "That time we"... "how great was that catch up?"
I'm guessing you get the picture. But if you don't thats cool too. I am doing this for me because I lost my connection with myself. I allowed to get attached to things that don't really exisit unless you are in the material world.

My passions include psychology, reading, people, dancing, blogging, walking my family. This has also significantly changed for me if you had asked me years ago it would have been the total opposite. This is also ok but nows my time to put me first and follow my deepest passions that excite me more than breathing.

Negative consumption only hurts you in the long run, reframe and look at the choices we make individually and collectively. Make the choice to walk away, free the mind. A recommended book of mine is the "mind made prison" this unlocked some of my deepest fears. As part of my journey I have now openly talked about my traumas and feel less pain as well the deep shame. Long may this continue.

This is dedicated to my mentor, friend Stephen Aish.